We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
