I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
