I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
id be glad to
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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