Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
