Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize