I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
