there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
