Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
