Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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