Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
