his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
