Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
