i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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