How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize