she woke up with a sticky ear
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
