please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize