I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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