last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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