nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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