Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
