I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
