If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There r osticjed everywhere
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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