Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
