There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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