I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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