sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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