Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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