Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
bring money and cleavage
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
