we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You are the jesus of drinking
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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