the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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