Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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