I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize