Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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