I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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