Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
