I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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