I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Im part way to drunk.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize