Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
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I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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