I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize