Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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