I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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