you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
