I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
