Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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