i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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