her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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