i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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