clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
