what day is it and did you see me today?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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