Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
