I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize