Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
