I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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