so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
