People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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