so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He passed out mid-signature
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
