my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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