On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
